Pants Are Bullshit: Embracing Authentic Connections & Meeting People Where They Are (Revisited)

Flavor of the Day: Fire's Blueberry OG preroll 🔥🔥

I made it a goal to write once a week, then life happened, leading to writer's block. When I thought I'd finally start writing, I spent a week miserable with a sinus infection. (Weird to think, as I revisit this in 2024, I am getting over being sick. Dang cruddy immune system. #fuckfibro) All I did was sleep & binge-watch every streaming app that I had; writing wasn't even a thought. Thankfully, after lots and lots of meds, tons of sleep, a trip to urgent care, & a few times looking in the mirror seeing a zombie, I felt better in time to enjoy Daughter's first prom experience (No, I didn't go, but I watched as they got ready at my house. and Mother's Day.

LYD gave me some blog ideas when I asked for the 100th time about blog feedback. One of them was inspired by our quick two-minute text conversation catching up during our busy lives. She's super mom in so many ways & sometimes all she has time and energy for is a quick two-minute catch-up.

Side note: it takes the average person 2 1/2 minutes to read a BDL article, so when I hear excuses of someone not taking the time to read, I remind them that I am worth 2 1/2 minutes of their time because I am. It could even be while they're taking a shit. In the words of a friend, Sherbs, "If you give a shit, give me a shit."

I, too, am super mom. I'm also trying to keep the book club going and start my business, so I've been busy. Life happens, but LYD & I make the time for each other when we can. We do our best to stay as active in one another's lives as we can while trying to live our own. There was a time when I would be a little hurt if I felt she didn't put in the time or effort into our relationship, but she does. She is my strength, but sometimes we can't always be in contact. I'm seeing that, and I am taking less offense when I don't get an immediate response, or even a response in general, from people now. I also can sometimes forget to respond because of my own busy life. I'm learning to not take things personally & try to pay attention to the other side of things.

It doesn't mean we don't care for each other. We still make cousin time happen within our capacities without overextending ourselves until we're too drained to function. You can't give everything to everyone all of the time without burnout, but you can have an occasional two-minute conversation to show you care.

Pay attention to when your people go quiet. How often are you the first to reach out and ask, "How are you?" I know that I am quite frequently this person. However, when it comes to others just asking how I am, there are very few who do this, which makes me appreciate them even more. So many times do I show up for the people who don't show up for me, or they can't take 2 1/2 minutes to read an article or even take less time to quite simply ask me, "How are you?" I get we all get sucked into our own lives, some more than others (Beware of energy vampires!), but don't get so sucked in that you forget to even give the bare minimum to those who show up for you.

Mother's Day was almost perfect, and I'm so grateful for the people I spent it with. My parents, LYD, her kids, Daughter & I all spent the day at the river with good food, great company, & being on the water. (I FINALLY got my paddleboard out!) We probably spent a little bit longer than we planned when we had an impromptu adventure of getting stuck on the river's current after we were too busy visiting to pay attention. LYD goes, "Ash, we did it again." Unfortunately, we couldn't rectify our mistake this time with the kid's huge floatie in tow. Luckily, there was a boat launch we were able to pull into & Dad came and saved us. We all piled in like clowns in a car & went back to pack everything up, giggling & laughing now that the scary part was over. Yes, I did call shotgun, so I didn't have to get my big ass squished in the back with all of the kids.

Even with the spontaneous adventure, which got a tad scary for a moment, it was still a fun day spent with family.

Daughter got asked to prom, and on the day of, she was so excited (and nervous) as she got prom ready. I loved being able to experience most of the day with her, watching as she & her friends got beautified. Her best friend came to help with hair and makeup, and her other friend got ready at our place. I always enjoy watching them in their elements & I was grateful to be a part of Daughter's first prom experience. She had a wonderful time. (I went to watch a movie and visit with a friend to keep my mind from worrying about her, but I'm glad I didn't need to.)

A couple of weeks ago, ND & I had a girls' trip to see Shania Twain in concert & the trip was just what I needed. Low stress & spending one-on-one time with one of my favorite people. We ate lots of good food, rode electric scooters (I drive like I do on Mario Kart....terribly), checked out a ton of cute outfits of other people attending the concert, enjoyed a phenomenal show, walked back to our hotel enjoying the beautiful sights of Spokane, WA & just had a great time. We visited Mom & spoke of her shenanigans in the nursing facility & we were even able to meet up with my aunt & her family for lunch & shopping at Boo Radley's, a cute little oddity store in Spokane. It was good to see everyone. I always cherish my moments with my besterestest, she helps keep me grounded & present.

Sometimes the time you get from a person is a couple minutes, sometimes it's a whole weekend. Enjoy every minute and be present to those who share their time with you. Be appreciative of the time people give you, whatever that looks like, and make sure the people you give your time to are worthy. Learn to embrace those authentic connections & meet your people where they are, not where you expect them to be. Love the moments you experience with your tribe because they are the only things that make life bearable sometimes.

Thank you all for supporting and reading.

🖤💋💨