I'm Changing My Own Toxic Behavior By Not Entertaining F*ck Boys: Creating Boundaries For Yourself (Revisited)

Canna Flavor of the Day: Airway Boy's Island Brunch infused with TriCome's Watermelon Runtz rolled into a pre-roll

#byeboy

I'm also done being one. In a world of online dating, it's not hard to get laid. It's easier to give in to temptation, enjoying the moment, than to hold strong. The satisfaction, however, is minuscule and fleeting and, in the end, really not worth it when the other person isn't worthy, regardless if you want something casual or something long-term. I am constantly putting myself in check when I realize I am putting out more toxicity than love, kindness, and healing.

I'm changing my own toxic behavior by understanding that I will never be friends with everyone I meet, and I am beginning to be ok with people not liking me. They have a picture painted in their head of who I am when they have no clue. I cannot control what they think, but I can control how it makes me feel. Honestly, it's a lot nicer not giving a sh*t. I cut people out who refuse to treat me the way I deserve, especially after I've communicated how I expect to be treated. I am trying to remove as much negativity as I can, and sadly, sometimes it's in the people I care about, and I have to remove them or distance myself, showing myself the love that they refuse to show.

I am working on always apologizing and owning up to mistakes I've made, especially when I feel like I've hurt someone I love. I f*ck up regularly and although I'm a Goddess, I am not flawless and I am so grateful for those who love me despite of my flaws. I am changing my toxicity by admitting when I'm wrong, which is harder than you think. I communicate with sincerity and I try to make up for the times I'm an asshole in whatever way I think best suits the situation.

What necessarily is a f*ck boy & how have I been one, you ask? F*ck boys generally have little to no respect for their conquests. They are in it for themselves & will manipulate you into thinking they want something long-term when they really just want a toy. I've been a f*ckboy by being emotionally unavailable to men who probably would have made a good partner. I have behaved in ways I'm not proud of & lacked boundaries with myself & others. There are times when I have used someone for what they could do for me. I can be the definition of a f*ck boy if I really want to, but I don't. I care about people, I care about my connections with people. I no longer want to play an exhausting game when I can enjoy my solitude & the people who harness a genuine relationship with me.

I'm also done being one. In a world of online dating, it's not hard to get laid. It's easier to give in to temptation, enjoying the moment, than to hold strong. The satisfaction is minuscule, fleeting, and ultimately not worth it for me. I am constantly putting myself in check when I realize I am putting out more toxicity than love, kindness, and healing.

I am changing my toxicity by admitting when I'm wrong, which is harder than you think. I communicate with sincerity and I try to make up for the times I'm an asshole in whatever way I think best suits the situation. I cut people out who refuse to treat me the way I deserve, especially after I've communicated how I expect to be treated. I am trying to remove as much negativity as I can, and sadly, sometimes it's in the people I care about, and I have to remove them or distance myself, showing myself the love that they refuse to show.

I am working on always apologizing and owning up to mistakes I've made, especially when I feel like I've hurt someone I love. I f*ck up regularly and yes, a I'm a Goddess, I am not flawless and I am so grateful for those who love me despite my flaws.

I don't judge those just looking to get laid with no attachments. I've been that person, I do judge when people (F*ckboys) are dishonest with their intentions just for the sake of keeping the other person around for when it best suits them. Yes, I've been where I've wanted zero attachments, I've been the f*ckboy that wasn't emotionally available or I just wanted a fling, and yes there are times where my communication has clearly lacked, but I never intentionally played with emotions of someone that wasn't already playing with mine. Yes, two wrongs don't make a right, but that was how I coped, how I shielded myself with the armor of being emotionally unavailable just for some sort of intimacy. I have a lifetime of people not picking me, but I chose the people who barely pursued me, I chose people where I made most of the effort, & I chose people that I knew weren't right for me. Self-sabotage at its finest.

I'm working on erasing my self-sabotage in relationships & listening to my gut more.

Every day, I work on not always jumping into defense mode, but stopping and assessing. Not everyone is attacking me. I've been on the defense for as long as I can remember, and I'm not sure what broke my brain to make it so, but I recognize it's a problem, and I'm trying to take a moment before putting on the fighting gloves.

I am always working to fix the broken in me.

I strive to respond with kindness—without belittling someone else’s emotions or thoughts. I make myself listen instead of putting up my wall or assuming the worst.

A huge way I am done being toxic is I am not looking at myself or my body with disgust, but with love, compassion, & understanding. I am no longer starving for love and attention when I am giving it to myself. I may not have the ideal body that I want, but it's the body I have, and it deserves the gentleness I try to give others; it's gotten me through a lot.

I try to refrain from being toxic by allowing myself to think before talking, putting that filter in place before I blurt out my thoughts. (Does anyone know where I can find an extra thick filter? Mine doesn't work as much as it should.)A daily struggle I have is stopping myself when I feel like I am being toxic because I still am, and I am human that's still working on myself.

How do you check yourself when you feel like you’re being toxic? Let’s talk about it in the comments.

Thanks for reading and supporting, babes! I appreciate every one of you. Drop your thoughts below—I’d love to hear them!

🖤💋💨