I Know How The Game Is Played, I've Played It (Revisited)

Canna Flavor of the Day: Lifted's Permanent Marker Pre-Roll

And I've played it well....

I know how people work, that includes guys, and I know how to get what I want with the right guy. I've played the game. People tend to think I don't know what I'm getting into. People assume I don’t know how the game is played, but trust me—I do. I may care about you, but if you don’t add to my best life, I can cut you out.

I have and I will.

Most of the time, it’s the right call—either they won’t own up to their actions or they refuse to treat me how I deserve. Sometimes, I am the problem and I try to change my behavior & own up to it. I can sit back and observe characteristics, reading who you are. I tend to think over situations and try to have an unbiased view, looking at both sides. Sometimes, I make the wrong assumptions, but I take the time to pay attention.

"An apology is nothing without changed behavior."

If you say you're sorry and you continue doing the same bullshit thing, I'm going to get tired of it and I'm going to get tired of you. I'll distance myself so hard and fast you'll get whiplash. I'm only wanting to bring the good in and keep it in with long-term friendships or relationships that put in the effort I do. That doesn't mean I don't know how people work. It doesn't mean that I'm not playing my own game of survival.

Knowing how the game is played doesn’t mean I want to play it forever—I want real, honest connections. I DON'T want to play the game, I DON'T want to just survive, I want real genuine & loving connections with people who don't lie or pretend to be something they're not. I'm tired of trying to pretend to be something I'm not. I'm done trying to hide what I want just to please others or in fear they won't like me. I'm tired of silencing my voice for the comfort of someone else.

Being the best version of me and being my authentic self is all I want to be. I want the connections that love me for who I am, the good, the bad, the ugly, & the crazy.

I was watching Mack & Rita on #Hulu, (I highly recommend, btw.) and I thought "YES! I want that confidence & self-assurance that I am living my best life, being my best self." I don't need to wish to be another person or have another person's life. My life is pretty fucking good & I love My People.  

Self-love isn’t just about knowing what you deserve but also navigating the setbacks that come with growth. What feels life-ending is usually just a boulder in my way—and on the other side? The greatest gift I could imagine. There will be more boulders and sometimes mountains on the horizon, but I have faith and confidence that I will trek over them, however begrudgingly, and get through them. The beauty is in the journey, standing tall, looking back at all the hard work to reach your highest potential.

It's all worth it and you want to take your people along the way, their paths may disconnect from yours for a while, but if your paths are meant to align again, they will. Don't be scared of who you are, and don't be ashamed of mistakes that you make along the way, (including men.) Learn from them & change any toxic or unhealthy behaviors that might have got you into that situation or problem, including going back to a person that wasn't right for you in the first place.

At the end of your journey, when you look back—will you be proud of the life you lived? Or will you wish you had done more? Be fearless. Own your story. And don’t waste a second dimming your own damn light.

Thanks for reading, and as always, I appreciate every single one of you who takes this journey with me. Drop a comment, share your thoughts, or just let me know you're here. Let’s keep growing together.

🖤💋💨