Have Dates With Your Friends

Flavor of the Day: Forbidden Fruit Panda Pen (Panda pens are always a solid choice.)

This past year, I realized the importance of having dates with my girlfriends or just hanging out with friends in general. The healing light they bring helps things be brighter than the Depression Demon can handle & I appreciate each and every person. The funny thing is, most of my close people are people I have met recently, since the trauma & since I've been slowly rebuilding myself & my life. It's funny how trauma brings out your "friend's" true colors, showing they either have your back with every step or they are more pretenders & users than friends.

I've been opening my mind to how much my girl dates mean to me & how having a strong group of friends at your back can help you even when you're at the lowest of your low. This past year, I attended a play of Young Frankenstein after not seeing a play in a long time; I've had dinner dates, I've sat around the fire, I've had game nights, & smoke sessions. Each one has been a blessing that I didn't know I needed until recently. As humans, we need to have some sense of community to survive, especially during our worst times. As an introvert, I only wanted my people around & it was too much effort to focus on more than those few close friends.

Make sure you're spending time with the people that feed into your abundance & happiness. Look at your relationships & see who supports you & is there to help you grow, even if it's saying something you don't want to hear but need to. Make sure those people you are hanging out with are uplifting you & doing what they can to put in the effort that you put in. Those are the bonds that will help you survive the crazy ass life we live. Life sure likes to throw curveballs, setbacks, & unexpected bombshells at us, but if you look closely, those are lessons being taught. Life is showing you what people to have in your corner. Life works in your favor when you work with it, not against it.

Earlier, I was driving in my car & had an epiphany, "Don't stress about what's going to happen or how just have faith that it will." because sometimes unpredicted blessings come when you least expect them to. That's the wonder (and the frustration) of life. You can't be in total control, but you can be in control of the important things. You can keep the right people around, you can make the decisions that you know you need to, no matter how hard they will be, and you absolutely can reach your dreams.

I don't think I would be as motivated to reach my goals if I didn't have certain people rooting for me, no matter how reluctant I am to receive it. (I'm working on it, ok?) Some days you just need to spend the day with a new friend smoking, eating good food, & playing a few competitive games of Mario Kart, laughing & talking, not worrying about what you need to get done. Some days, you need to get kidnapped for breakfast, even though you really just want to stay in bed 'til noon. Then there are the days you watch Practical Magic while enjoying a "shark coochie" (charcuterie) board with a friend that you get to see maybe once a year, spending the whole weekend catching up & getting too lit. (As if that's a real thing.)

During my time with my people, I have realized that as I am trying to help them get rid of their negative self-talk, I need to work on my own just as well. I try to do a short five-minute daily positive activity in the mornings to help my mindset. Thanks to our current book club read, "Coffee Self-Talk" by Kristen Hemstetter.

I abhor most self-talk books. I don't find them interesting or easy to follow, but I know I need them & going through them slowly, chapter by chapter, has been better received by my stubborn brain. Coffee Self-Talk provides you with easy, attainable practices to start having a better mindset about yourself. I'm only on Chapter 3, so I can't give too much input on the book yet, but I am enjoying the ease of each little activity in the guided journal. Quite honestly, there are a few that I skip, intending to go back to do them. Even in the short time that I have been doing these journal prompts, I'm finding I am more frequently working to change my negative mindset. I am learning to love myself the way my tribe does & learning to proactively work on changing my negative behaviors.

It's not easy. It's just easier to sit, mindlessly watching TV & scrolling on my phone, but that makes my life stagnant. I can't have that. I have places to go, people to meet, & stories to write. I can't do that when I'm constantly stuck in my cave. Neither can you, do something today that is a step forward, whether it's coffee with a friend, journaling, or kicking ass at work. You're fucking amazing & you need to remember that.

Let your tribe be there for you. Take the time to be with your people, it will be good for both of you. Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate you. Have a wonderful day!

🖤💋💨