Be Bold

Flavor of the Day: No Label Farms’ Lemon Berry Candy OG Pre-Roll

Be bold enough to live your truth, regardless of the eyes peering or leering at you, but also be bold enough to speak your truth.

I got the idea for the title of this article while watching Sweet Magnolias on Netflix. It’s such a great “me” show and it is based on books by one of my favorite authors, Sherryl Woods. I love her stories because they are the classic Hallmark-y, small-town, love story that I have always gravitated toward. They just make me feel good, no matter how cheesy they are. In my eyes, an abundance of cheese is a good thing. Mom, Grammy, & I will occasionally exchange books, (when my to-read pile isn’t 5 miles long) and there’s almost always a new one written by Sherryl Woods in the pile. They’re usually one of the first books I choose to read because I know I will get lost in the fantasy world & finish the book with a feel-good glow that only the best authors give you.

The show, as well as the books, give you a semi-honest story of how family, relationships, and friendships work. Having that sense of community as the pillars of your foundation, you’ll never completely crumble because your tribe won’t allow it to happen.

Keeping your community doesn’t mean not being honest and only telling somebody what you think they want to hear. Building and maintaining your tribe is having the hard conversations, especially when they’re hard because you not only care about the other person, but you value yourself, as well. No matter what side of the conversation you are on, the bearer or the recipient, make sure it’s filled with respect, honesty, and an open ear to the other’s perspective. Push through the shakes, tears, and nausea & have that full conversation to completion. It needs to be had. You’ll either become closer to the other person, or you’ll lose a relationship that you were never meant to keep. That doesn’t mean you weren’t meant to have that person in your life, but people are either in our lives for “A Reason, A Season, or A Lifetime.” It is up to you to decide what that person’s part is.

Watching the show, I was getting annoyed with one of the antagonists, but seeing the humanity and getting even more annoyed that I started to relate to them, I remembered that people can change. We do all of the time, but it’s up to us to decide if we’re making the changes to be a better person or if we’re making them to be a bitter person. We all need to regularly look within and recognize the change we need to make in ourselves. None of us are perfect and there is room for growth until the very end, but we all need to collectively, consciously make an effort to DO BETTER.

Be brave enough to try to right your wrongs because it’s so much easier to ignore a problem than fix it. Get off your ass, lazy & do the work! It’s never too late to show that you’re sorry. Don’t just say it, show it. Start with the verbal apology, but then be aware of your actions and words moving forward. Be perceptive of those who are bold enough to apologize to you, although it may take longer to happen than you’d like. Even if you’ve both moved on, clearly there is something that is eating them up about how they treated you or how you left things. You don’t have to forget the hurt they’ve caused you. You don’t have to even forgive them. Just be open to hearing them out because you never know the closure it might give both of you.

You know yourself better than anyone. Trust your intuition, take your time, & pay attention to people & yourself, they’ll show you who they are. You don’t have to let someone back in your life, just because they’re sorry, or they’ve grown. They had a chance to treat you right, respect you, & care about you the way you deserve. If the “new” them doesn’t align with the “current” you, you don’t have to entertain any time with them. You don’t even have to give them enough time to breathe an apology to you, but just be empathetic & compassionate. If the roles were reversed, how would you like to have your sincere apology met, knowing the courage it took to say those words?

Granted, some aren’t always sincere, but if you’re patient enough to listen to your intuition, you will know what to do. You may even be wrong, you may be right, but this is more about your growth than theirs and sometimes our growth is trial and error, making mistakes a few times before the lesson finally sticks. (I’m stubborn, ok? I like to be sure that something is not right for me by relearning the same life lesson over and over because I don’t learn the first time.)

Have the confidence to SPEAK YOUR TRUTH.

Regardless of what people say, your truth is nobody else’s but yours. They can’t tell you how to act, speak, feel, or live because they’re not you. Their situation is different than yours. It doesn’t make either situation wrong or right, but it makes it right for you. You know your life better than anyone and it’s on you to make it your best life, not anyone else. That means they don’t have to have a say in how you live it. Don’t always be the one to push yourself into biting your tongue just because someone else might have a strong personality or strong views on things & you don’t want conflict. Be bold enough to speak your truth. It’s ok to disagree, but don’t let that disagreement turn into you always caving to be silenced & allowing their side to be seen and heard, without an open ear or any compassion for your side.

BE INTENTIONAL.

Make the moves, but know why you’re making them. “What is this move going to do to help move me forward?” “How is this step a step forward, instead of two steps backward?” Life is our biggest adventure & we need to be intentional about how we live it and how we will make it our biggest accomplishment. Be bold in the moves that you make.

In Sweet Magnolias, when the girls get together for their regular girls’ night they “Pour It Out.” Not just pouring out a margarita, but also what’s weighing you down, the victories, & everyday life. I feel like my book club ladies and I do this when we do our “Vibe Checks.” (No, not vibrators!) We each will say how our previous weeks were & what we want the other women to think/pray about for us, sending us good vibes in our lives, even if we can’t always physically be there for one another. In a way, it’s each of us manifesting our own dreams & having the support & loving encouragement of the others to help guide us & allow us to voice our dreams without judgment or competition, but with genuine “I’ve got your back” vibes.

I think it is necessary to have a tribe of people that you trust to have your best interest at heart, giving you the love and support, but also the real talk while you’re making those hard decisions, letting you know if you’re not putting yourself first, or voicing their concerns of you repeatedly getting and or staying in toxic behaviors or relationships. Those strong pillars in your foundation will help hold you up while you’re having construction done to be your own lone, strong entity. You’re strong enough alone, but with the strength & support of your other pillars, your foundation will have stronger, more stable ground to build on.

We can have the life we want, we can build our dreams, we just have to be persistent, work hard, & BE BOLD.

Thank you for reading and just remember, when times get hard, “Pour it out.”

🖤💋💨