3D Me & Girl Talk (Revisited)

Flavor of the Day: Grand Daddy Purple (GDP) "Yes, Daddy!"

Revisiting my 2nd post after I've written my 250th post. It's interesting looking at my lack of writing style back in 2020 and life as it was, just before the pandemic hit to my actual writing style and life now. My blog is now literally the longest commitment I've ever had, aside from Daughter, who was the best commitment I ever made.

I wrote this post on a day when technology was once again triumphant in its hate for me. An ex-friend, gave me the idea for the blog post when we were talking about our lives & the changes we were making. We had one of the many deep brainstorming conversations we had while smoking the best weed. I was talking about the new me & he threw out the "3D Me" comment that I ended up stealing the phrase for the title of this article.

I had come home to Daughter, being the asshole mom that I am & told her to watch her documentary in her room because I was having a friend over. I rarely kick her off the TV, but this time she understood because she had just been spending time with her friend. I did make her food & took it to her room, so I'm not a complete turd of a mom.

A good friend that I don't get to see very often came over for some much-needed girl talk. We smoked, talked, drank wine, smoked, ate, talked, smoked some more. Never underestimate the power of a good ol' heart-to-heart talk. It's nice to feel like your friendship is appreciated, especially if you've found yourself wondering, "Who would miss me if I disappeared." No, I'm not talking about suicide, but literally packing up and leaving with very minimal contact with people. Then you have a much-needed smoke sesh with a friend you met at one of the jobs you hated the most, not because of the people, but because of the job itself. The first job I would take a smoke break at, not smoking cigarettes. This friend, this beautiful soul wants to keep you in her & her kid's lives and you see it.... People do appreciate and care for you. People would miss you.

My therapist one time told me, "You get hurt because people don't show you that they love you in the ways that you show them. It doesn't mean that they don't love you." I took a step back and tried looking at how people showed me they loved me, like calling when they wanted to vent, cooking for me, and allowing me to vent. All different ways they have shown me they loved me when they knew I needed it. I tend to hold things in for too long, trying to be the strong one when I just want someone to be strong for me for once. The thing is, I do have people who are strong for me when I need it, just like I'm their strength.

The smiles and the smokes of that evening were great & my favorite quote of the night was, "He like... makes my vagina quiver." Compliments of yours truly and you'll never know who the lucky guy was. Let's be real, I have a faint idea of who it was, but I'm not 100% sure.

Writing a very personal blog was a little difficult at first when I was so used to holding everything in. I'm working on it! Still! Even now, I get imposter syndrome thinking, "Why the hell am I doing this?! Am I the right person to do this?" Yet, I am so glad that I finally started pursuing my love for writing in a way that is authentic to me & my desire to help others.

BDL Fact: Beautiful Disaster Lit was almost named Beautiful Disaster Uncorked because of my love for wine at the time. I'm glad I didn't stick with that name because I rarely drink nowadays & Beautiful Disaster Lit is more me.

I thank you crazies for putting me in my place & supporting me & my blog. For now, peace babes, and good night.

🖤💋💨